Now for those who know me I have never been the biggest pet person. Yes, I have had many pets over the years being cats and birds but I never took a big liking to many dogs.
I remember the day my Dad brought Pepsi home. This tiny little puppy in his work basket. I didn't live at home at the time but my Mom called saying "You'll never guess what what your father brought home? A puppy!" She was not impressed. Yes, this tiny little bundle of fluff snuck into our hearts and conquered all of them.
She loved me and followed me everywhere. And when I mean everywhere.. I mean everywhere! I couldn't even go to the toilet without her crying at the door until I was done and opened the door. When I left for Thailand last year, my Mom says that she used to go and look for me in my room every day for a long time until she somehow realized I wasn't gonna be there.
When I came home in June, there she was, full on love and happiness. I swear her name should have been happiness or energade. Her unending love and devotion is insane. She used to sleep by me every night and even basically kicked me around my own double bed. She irritated the living day lights out of me sometimes and she loved us even after she would get in trouble or we'd get annoyed with her.
If I ever had an annoying little sister.. She would be it.
Then one week we noticed she was constantly shaking. At first we thought that maybe she was just getting cold as it was the middle of winter and I was suffering big time as I hadn't had to deal with cold weather in over a year! But after a while we realized she wasn't cold and took her to the vet as we were sure there was something wrong. After the first visit, the vet told us there was nothing wrong and sent her home. But as the week went on the shaking got worse. So my mom and I took her back to the vet insisting that he do a re-evaluation as her current state was just not normal in anyway.
He agree to an overnight observation. I had to leave for Cape Town for 2 weeks and would only see here when I got back. Her condition sadly continued to deteriorate. The doctor sent her home with some medicine my Mom had to find a way to get her to eat in general.
When I got back she was half the tiny size she was and had no life in her at all. All she did was sleep.. In her own bed and barely had any form of reaction to anything. She had no balance and ran into things constantly. I can't remember at what point my Mom decided to take her to another vet for a second evaluation. It turns out that she had a fit of some form while she did her daily afternoon bird chasing marathon around the yard and this had caused some brain damage and affected the part of the brain that told her to eat. He basically suggested we should put her out of her misery and put her down.
But how could we do that. How could even think about putting the light of our household out! So my mom endeavoured and force fed her and carried on looking for a solution. Finally at wits end something started to work. Slowly she gained some energy and slowly she started eating on her own. She isn't fully recovered yet but is well on her way.
The thing about this story is when I got back from Cape Town and saw my puppy like that I would have done anything to get back that annoying little sister puppy! My heart broken and I missed her exaggerated happiness to see me every single time!.
She never changed even though we had our moods as human beings. When she needed us, we didn't give up on her.
And this made me think about my own life. I have had people ask me 'How can you be like this every single day?' As most days I am just a happy person because I choose to be. Yes, I have my low points or moods but it is always a choice to get back up and carry on fighting. Look for the good and the positive in life and there are so many reasons to live and be grateful no matter how bad things may seem.
When I see you and I am happy to see you. That's just it. I am just really happy to see you. No hidden motives. No hidden agendas. Just me.. Happy to see you. I can't tell you how many times I have been misunderstood or had people have doubts about me. It used to get me so very down. Over time I have managed to learn to brush it off and carry on.
Pepsi never changed when we had our moody days. And this is the lesson I learnt... neither should we. Be who you are. The right people will love you and appreciate you. They are the ones who will be there for you when you need it.
If you can't accept me as I am, then maybe I am not for you and you are not for me. When you let those people go, who don't fit into your life properly, you make space for the right people to enter.
The only people I need in my life are the ones who need me in theirs even when I have nothing else to offer them but myself. Some people come into your life and you just know you will never be able to replace them if they left.
Thank you Pepsi for coming back to us slowly but surely. Yeah, she still can't really run in a straight line but the life is back in her spirit and she comes and snuggles into my bed at night. Now I let her kick and nudge me as much as she wants I never get mad. I am just so happy that she is herself again.
The smallest light in my life that truly shone the brightest.
Love you always